grandmother

tonight, on the eve of mother's day, i find myself thinking about my g'ma. it has been almost 5 months since she left us and it amazes me that not a single day goes by that i don't think about her. 

some days it may just be a quick passing thought that makes me smile. some days it might start with a quick thought but then my mind wonders to a funny memory or story i have of her. somedays those thoughts spark up a conversation between my girls and i about her. how she is sending those cardinal birds to our backyard to check in on us. how she must be having fun up in heaven "bowling" with God and the angels during a thunderstorm. how silly her irish nursery rhymes are and how much they make may laugh. those thoughts brighten my day every time they happen. 

the thing that surprises me is not that i think about her everyday...but that i am never sad when i do. i never really think about how sad i am that she's not here. of course, i am...i miss her like crazy...but when i think of her it's always such a happy memory. it causes me to stop whatever it is i'm doing for a split second and when i do i realize i am always smiling. 

what a powerful thing.

this got me thinking about just how influential she was in my life. the fact that every single day i think of her shows just how much she means to me. how much of an impact she had on my life. it makes me realize how much i want to be like her. when my day comes i hope i have had the chance to meet my great-grandchildren. that my grandchildren smile whenever they think of all quality time we were able to spend together. that my daughters carry on all the values that she instilled in my mom who passed them down to me and i to them. that her kindness and thoughtfulness and humor continue to carry on from generation to generation. 

she truly was a wonderful person. 

i know i will think of her often tomorrow. i will smile because these are the days she loved the most. she will love nothing more than to look down on us as we celebrate my mom and my sister and my nana and all the mothers in our family. 

my g'ma was a mother...

a grandmother...

a great-granmother...

and she was damn good at it.